Improving the Horny Parents Market Timing Model

After previously revealing my long held belief that buy and hold investing is tantamount to timing the market based on when your parents got horny, I felt compelled to offset that discouraging assessment with some tweaks to the method. Sure, value averaging rather than dollar cost averaging will generally improve things but I’m talking about the real secret sauce of the big boys here.

The typical secular stock market trend is approximately 17 years in length. Assuming peak earning years, and peak investing years, are around the late 40’s the optimum time to target birth (whether for spawning or reincarnation) would be ~5 years into a secular bear market so that peak earnings will begin at the end of the next secular bear market. At that point short the octuple short index ETF’s that will no doubt be available by then and get ready for the good life. Don’t forget to go to cash as you get into your 60’s.

For those with a bearish bias aim for ~5 years into a secular bull market and short an octuple long index ETF when your peak earning years arrive. Conversion to the bullish faith in your 60’s would also be highly advantageous and give you a leg up on those know it all bulls flapping their gums in the rec room at the home.

Admittedly there are a large number of assumptions underlying these conclusions but, as any mainstream economist will tell you, the more numerous and tenuous your assumptions the more valid your model and reality-proof your conclusions. Remember, in investing if something of such value was easily credible everyone would already be doing it.

**Important Note: If you are going the reincarnation route remember you need to be a human to take advantage of this strategy so you better watch your step. I have millions of beneficial bacteria in my gut bucking for a karmic promotion.

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3 thoughts on “Improving the Horny Parents Market Timing Model

  1. Pingback: Pseudo Random News and Comment | Mortality Sucks

  2. Pingback: Pseudo Random News and Comment | Mortality Sucks

  3. Pingback: Pseudo Random News and Comment | Mortality Sucks

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